A Few More Seconds
by Quill of Minerva
Summary: What was going through Ros' head when she trashed her hotel bedroom? Does contain spoilers for S7. Eps. 1 and 2.


Disclaimer: I don't own Spooks or the wonderful characters but I'm merely playing with them for no profit what so ever

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Spooks or the wonderful characters but I'm merely playing with them for no profit what so ever.

**A/N:** This does contain spoilers for Series 7. Eps 1 and 2 so if you haven't seen them, don't read unless you want to know. Also, I'm new to the Spooks fandom and I haven't written anything in my other fandom's for a year or so. Go easy with me *lol*. I wrote this story this morning in forty minutes so it's not great but I need to get back into the swing of writing and while I have the nerve to post. This hasn't been beta read so if you notice anything, let me know and I'll correct it. I

**Summary:** What was going through Ros' head when she trashed her hotel bedroom?

**A Few More Seconds.**

By Clayre Brown

Her fingers fumbled carelessly as she attempted to swipe the key card into it's holder. Finally, the light turned green and the door open. She was calling this current hotel room, home for now but it didn't feel like one. It wasn't welcoming. Not that she deserved to be welcomed. She shut the door behind her and leaned up against it. Her ice blue eyes scanned the room. The cream walls. The perfectly positioned pictures on the wall. The view of London from the window. The large flat screened television that seemed to dominated one corner of the room. All of it was so cold and impersonal. In the past, people had compared her to a hotel room. Cold and impersonal.

She didn't really know when it happened. It snuck up on her and one day, she saw looking back in the mirror some she didn't know. It would be easy to blame her parents. Her father. That would be the easy route and anyone who knew her, knew that Ros Myers didn't do easy. The transformation had been down to her. Down to the desire that she didn't want to turn into her father. She wasn't as cold and distant as people thought. She did feel. She did love. She loved Adam. He saw her. She let him see her. He was no more.

Her throat constricted and she felt herself gasp for air as the emotions she had kept so tightly under wrap threatened to uncoil like a spring. She rushed forward, looking for something to grab. One of the perfectly positioned pictures called to her. She pulled it from the wall and flung it across the room. The corner of the canvas flew into the floor length mirror and it satisfyingly shattered into pieces. Next within her reach was that blasted television with so many channels that it made her head spin. Picking it up, she stumbled slightly but regained her footing. She twirled around slightly and threw it to the floor. She let out a scream and then sunk her to knees. Adam. He was lost to her forever.

She hadn't been idle in Russia for six months. Harry had put her to work as Rangefinder and in a bid to forget her life she had left behind, she threw herself head first into her work. It had become her salvation. A way to make up for her betrayal. A way to forget Adam. When her cover had been blown and she had been ordered to return. She had tried to not to mention Adam to Connie but like word vomit, it came up, not once but twice. As she flew back on the plane, aware of someone tailing her, her thoughts were of Adam. Would he be pleased to see her back? Would they will able to return to how they were before Yalta came between them? While in the car, she had had to smile to herself. What would people say if they knew what was going through her mind? Disbelief that she was in fact, human after all.

On hearing that Adam and the team were heading for the memorial service, she knew she had to get there as well. When her eyes fell on him getting into the car. She knew she had to call out to him. He looked up and he smiled at her. He wanted to say something. She wanted to say something but it wasn't the time or the place. All he told was where to find Tranquillity and then he was in the car and driving away from her. As she ran off to assist her fellow spooks, part of her stupidly thought, there would be time to talk to Adam later.

The black cloud in the sky, the sign that a bomb had exploded lingered heavily and then the news she dreaded came through. She regarded Lucas North for a moment and then pulled herself together. She turned back to the look at the sky, the sounds of sirens now filling the air around them and she wandered off back to the car.

Back in the hotel room, as a tear escaped and rolled down her cheek, she thought, I shouldn't have called out to him. Those precious seconds that were wasted could have saved him. He could have gotten clear from the car. He could still be alive. He could have made Wes' rugby game. The intelligent side of the brain kicked in. A few seconds wouldn't have made any difference. Adam knew the risks when he got into the car and drove it away. He could have jumped from the car. He didn't.

As she knelt there in the trashed room another thought came to her. She should have been the one to get into the car and drive it away. When she called out to him, she could have told him to go after Tranquillity and she would get the car bomb away from the civilians. She had nothing to lose. No family. No home. No friends. Adam had everything to lose. She was the traitor. She was the cold one. She should have been blown apart by that bomb. Getting to her feet, wiping her eyes, she surveyed the mess she had created. She would get her revenge. Adam would have not died in vain. She was going to bring that Russian down.


End file.
